Posts Tagged ‘Steroids’

Shoot-up, A-Rod

Monday, February 9th, 2009

I’ve got your back, Alex Rodriguez. You, and any other athlete (or American, for that matter), feel free to shoot up as much as you want. I don’t care. And — I don’t think there should be an asterisk by any of the records. Do all the steroids you want.

Steroids have become the scapegoat drug in professional sports because people think they falsely enhance people’s abilities. They don’t think we can compare Barry Bonds to Babe Ruth. Frankly, I think steroids are one of a hundred things that make athletes better today than in years past.

EVERYTHING has changed since the 20s, when people like Babe Ruth would jam hot dogs in his head and get loaded during games. Our knowledge of diet has changed considerably, as has our methods of producing foods. Unless you’re eating organic foods, the beef, chicken, and produce we eat is far from what it once was. We understand how many carbs and proteins and vitamins an athlete needs for optimum performance. We can go to a GNC and buy whey, creatine, NO2, and a bunch of other stuff that helps athletes in ways we don’t totally understand. Steroids are just another chemical we have access to, and just happens to provide more rapid growth to people who already have ability.

You have to be aware that there are geneticists and chemist who are producing new strains of steroids that will make the steroids of today look like vitamin C. It’s just the way the world goes. Do they call it cheating in NASCAR if someone invents a new engine that allows the car to drive faster?

“Oh, we have to put an asterik by that record because it’s cheating. They didn’t have engines like that in the 80s.”

The way we train now is changing too. We have yoga, Tae-Bo, plyometrics, resistance training, and a zillion of other ways to train athletes to perform for different tasks. Is that cheating? This will never end.

Science doesn’t have to just impact what we put into our bodies. Science can affect performance in other ways, like Lasik surgery — allowing athletes to see better than ever before, prosthetic limbs — allowing people to use new limbs to outperform the limbs got originally gave them. Again, this technology will keep getting better and better. It will make what we’re doing today look like nothing.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Whatever you are, be a good one.” If that means steroids, then I don’t care. Steroids won’t make you good, they’ll just make you better at what you can already do. I’ve seen some meatheads at the gym with arms bigger than my legs, but they can’t run well, and I doubt they could hit a 90 mph fast ball. If they’re willing to make their hair fall out and nuts shrink for my amusement (i.e. hitting a ball hard, swimming fast, throwing touchdown passes, etc.), then by all means go for it.

If there was a drug that made me more creative, or made my accountant smarter, or my lawyer have a better memory, I’d be taking my drugs and I’d hope they’d be taking theirs too. I want to be the best I can be, and I want that of other too.

This is still a free country, right?

We still don’t really know the ins & outs of what steroids do. I don’t really know why it’s illegal. When used properly, there are steroids that can be of true benefit to people in middle age and beyond. It’s better than Botox, but for some reason, when we decide to stigmatize something in this country, all the common sense in the world can’t pull it out of the shark-infested waters.

Jay Cutler is a Dick

Friday, January 23rd, 2009

Jay Cutler does steroids.

Jay Cutler does steroids.

For those of you who don’t know, Jay Cutler is a 5′9, 310 lbs, mountain of muscle – and a complete dick. I’m not upset that he’s a two time Mr. Olympia champion, along with his many other bodybuilding accolades – but I’m upset with the fact that he is a liar, and a total whore for money.

Granted, he worked very hard to attain his physique. You can visit his website to take a peek at his diet and training regimen ( This man certainly trains hard and eats a lot (I’d hate to be around when he cuts a fart, which I’m guessing happens a lot since he eats over 34 egg whites and 26 oz. of chicken daily - among other things).

Here’s what pisses me off. I’ve spent the last few months getting myself in shape. I’ve completely overhauled my diet to foods lower in fat and higher in protein. I’m also now spending five days a week in the weight room in an effort to be less of a fathead. In addition, I’ve been reading a handful of these bodybuilding magazines to figure out new exercises along with what supplements I should be taking. These magazines are pretty much all advertisements, which is where one gets to see Mr. Cutler ad nauseum. He’s plastered all over in every single one of these fucking publications tooting his horn about how he used certain supplements (i.e. the products his sponsors pay him to endorse) to develop his physique.

Here are a few of his bullshit quotes from various magazines:

“IntraVol has dramatically changed the way I train and build muscle. In 2009, the world will witness a totally new Jay Cutler.”

“MyoShock will help me win back the Mr. Olympia title in 2009.”

“I keep using MuscleTech supplements because they keep giving me the results I want.”

“With Anabolic Halo, my muscles are filling out. They’re harder, rounder and just massive! I’ll never get off it.”



The only thing you’ll never get off is steroids. People read the bullshit he pumps out and think they can replicate his gains by eating a gozillion eggs and taking the same supplements. Granted, Jay Cutler isn’t the only money whore out there. This is how professional bodybuilders make a living. I get it. But why can’t we have an open and honest conversation about what’s really making these guys big? I don’t care what you say, there is no fucking way a human person can develop 22-1/2″ arms unless you’re into some shaky shit. Just tell us what you’re putting in your body - for real. No lies. Guys in the gym are going to dabble with roids anyway, so why not educate people on how to do it as safely as possible with the fewest amount of side effects?

I will say one other thing before I end this little tirade. I love Ronnie Coleman. He’s another massive bastard with several titles to his credit. He isn’t in very many ads, which is commendable. The thing that’s great about Ronnie, is he is completely Looney Tunes. Listening to him is almost the same level of surprise as hearing Mike Tyson for the first time. Here’s an interesting video link with him acting completely bananas: